The How…

My journey to this point in my life has been bumpy, to put it mildly, but it is my most recent situation that bore the fruit of this entire project.

Finding myself in the darkness, along with so many other victims all around the world, with very little help and support available, gas-lit and left behind, I was left feeling like there was very little love existing in our world.

So I decided to find a way to put some back!

My first attempt was a huge learning curve. I spent endless hours planning, creating products, solving problems and I felt a huge sense of achievement and finally it put a little purpose back into my life But little did I know that. a storm was brewing in the background that was aimed straight to my heart and stop me in my tracks.

For those who are unaware of my story, I was a teacher, gymnastics coach, wife and mother of two, with a healthy and active lust for life.until the world that I once knew was stripped away from me over night, following a reaction to a Government mandated ‘vaccination’. From this point onwards, the walls that once held me up, came crashing down and I found myself lost and broken.

I had to learn to live a more confined lifestyle. Hidden away, consumed in pain and exhaustion twenty-four seven. My teaching career was over and there was definitely no more gymnastics. As the weeks turned into months and then years my visitor list had shrunk somewhat and my enthusiasm for wanting to still be here on this earth, lessened.

From the beginning of this nightmare, I had been told y specialists from all different fields, that if my health hadn’t made progress by the two year mark, my condition would then be classed as permanent. So as I am sure you can imagine, reaching this milestone was incredibly hard as I had shown absolutely no improvement. The days were incredibly dark as I depression, initiated by the trauma of this injury, took a nose dive and I knew that the only way I would survive was to put something good back into my life

The hours I spent during video sessions with my psychologist, trying to find an answer led me to the realisation that I needed to create more purpose and what I discovered was that I could use my new hobby to make gifts to send to other people who were sick like myself. I hated the thought of all these people living in sadness and I wanted to give them a reason to smile for a day. I started slowly. Building up the courage to share my gifts boxes with close friends and family and having seen their reaction, just as I had hoped for, I took a deep breath and began sending my gift boxes to the injured all over Australia. I also decided to send little gifts of thanks to the small number of people who stand up for us and their reaction was even greater.

Suddenly I had found my purpose and I felt alive again.

During this first year, I was incredibly lucky to have my friends and family help me achieve my goals. I could not have done it without them. Medically unable to drive and still living over 99% of my life confined in my home bubble I knew that the only way to take this further and hit greater goals, was to accept as much help as offered.

This moment was the start of a terrible storm that brewed in my home bubble, my supposed safe place and it sent me straight back to the dark days. To daily panic attacks, having to call my neighbour to rush over and help me feel safe again, but mostly from the the heartache and disbelief that greed and a single individual bestowed upon me.

If I told you that my list of medical conditions caused by the ‘vaccine’ is very loooong. Literally from head to toe, left to right, full on daily pain. But none of that hurts as much as the feeling of having your heart ripped out as I realised that my purpose had been taken from under my feet by someone was not even a friend, whom I had only met a handful of times and who had offered to ‘help’ but in truth, it now seems, took advantage of my isolation, vulnerability and disability.

I cried for days, my psychologist was always on standby to talk me down and my family and friends were there to mop up my tears. I wanted to give up. I couldn’t bare the thought of having to start all over again but there was enough love around me to help me find my way again.

On one particular Saturday morning, my bestie, Kim decided to get me out the house. We headed to one of the local surf clubs for breaky and sunshine. This day turned out to be so very important. Usually, we spend ages driving round looking for a parking space but on this day, the very first available disability spot we came across was available. I’m sure it was that strange, we both commented on it.

Next we headed up for breakfast with a sea view. I have been there quite a few times and have always enjoyed my meals but on this day, the food was terrible. My açai, resembled soup, which befittingly had been served in a soup bowl and our coffees reached our hand as we were just getting up to leave. Weirdly, this moment led to the next amazing thing to happen that day.

Being in such a hurry to leave meant that I still had time on my ‘body clock’ to stay out a little longer and because I was still struggling to hold back the tears, Kimmy said she would take me to my very favourite place around the corner – the creek. Once again, as we scanned the rows and rows of parked cars, thinking that we weren’t going to be able to stop, a space opened up right infant of us.

But Kim wasn’t the only one helping me get through that day, Mish was there too (in the form of messenger!). Bless her heart, she was trying desperately to persuade me to walk away from the old path and start a new. I was really struggling with how unfair that was, until she uttered the words… ‘Would you consider using this experience to highlight how vulnerable us injured are?”

Well let me tell you – that sentence was enough to flick a switch in my brain. I immediately knew that is what I had to do and that was the exact moment I decided to let go of what had happened and create a new and better path and with that decision, I bum-shuffled my way down to the water.

The moment the warm waves tickled my toes, I felt a bright light shining on me. As I looked up to see what it was, there right above my head was the most beautiful rainbow halo, perfectly circling the sun. I based up and down the beach and no one else had noticed it. At this point, I may have gotten a little bit excited and started shouting and pointing at the sky. reactions, like a Mexican wave, passing on the information, pointing and grabbing phones to take photos. It was quite surreal.

I knew hubby was at home working on the roof so I called him to ask if he could see it but all he could see were dark grey clouds and he was only an eight minute car journey away.

The halo stayed there, right above my head until my toes left the sand. I could feel my energy shift and my heart beginning to repair and I reminded myself of my mantra….

After I had awoken from my usual afternoon nap, I began to play around with logo ideas and names. I had come down to one name and hubby had picked out another but neither seemed to be ‘the one’. Jimmy solved that problem, asking if there was a way I could merge our two name ideas together. It took a few attempts playing around with the words but when I got it – I sure got it, and that’s how the beginning of this new journey of mine began.

And if you’re wondering about the choice of image – I remembered my halo in the sky. As it turned out, it literally brought me back from out of the darkness.

The Why…

I was thrilled with my new name, and my design, so then I started thinking about all my other vax injured brothers and sisters. Their voices, their cries for help haunting my mind day and night. If you have seen the movie ‘Erin Brockovitch’ you may well recall the scene where Julia Roberts (who is my all time favourite actress) begins to recite the many victims she worked tirelessly to help. She lists their name, age, what they have been diagnosed with etc, one after the other, after the other. That is exactly how my head feels. only I could list way more things about the victims I know. I could tell you if they managed to get help from the government compensation scheme, if they managed to get help from the NDIS or a local charity. I could tell you if they lost their job, their home, their wife, their child and I could tell you if, during this nightmare, they have wished they were no longer here. And if your jaw didn’t drop after a few minutes of hearing how horrendously we have all been treated, I would wonder how you landed on this page.

My new plan needed to include many things…. a way to generate profit to be able to help the vulnerable / a place to support the injured and honour those lost / share our stories, our way, our words / give people hope / create a safe and supportive space.

… and hopefully I am on the way!